Psst...
Wednesday
Nov082006

Sudsy Buns...

I started to write something marginally funny about how (in an attempt to cut into a crusty dinner roll) I sent it flying into a the sink - which was full of hot, sudsy dishwater, but then I got completely distracted by the image of Sawyer and Kate going at it on Lost.  So, you're getting a quick and dirty recap of our outing Friday night to see Babel.  (Exciting for you, I know.)

Waiting in line for our popcorn and drinks...

Me: I'm so excited. I hear this is supposed to be great.  Like Crash.

Jeff:  Really?  Good deal.  By the way, I hope that popcorn and diet coke tastes like liquid gold, because I had to take out a loan just to pay for it and our tickets.

Me: What happened to our rent money?

Jeff: I got a box of Dots.

Me: Good call.

Walking into darkened theater...

Me: (whispering) Where do you want to sit?

Jeff: What about these seats?

Me: That's handicap.., um disabled, ohh...I mean physically challenged seating.  I can't keep up with the non-offensive terminology.  But it's got a wheelchair on it - we can't sit there...

Jeff: Well, then you pick a spot.

Me: (pointing) What about there?

Jeff:  Okay.  I'm going to run to the bathroom before the movie starts.

Me: Hurry!

Trailers start...

Stranger Behind Me: (waves arms frantically at Short Little Gray-Haired Lady who just walked into theater).

SLGHL: (stares dumbly at screen)

SBM: (loudly whispers) Ethel! (again waves arms)

Ethel: (formerly known as SLGHL): (looks back the way she came)

SBM: ETHEL!  (waving arms frantically and leaning out over my head)

Ethel: (looking straight at me) What?

SBM: (giving in, finally scuttles to the end of the row and grabs Ethel).

Jeff walks in...

Jeff: Did I miss anything?

Me: No, not really.

Movie has started...15 minutes in...

Me: (glancing over to see Jeff sound asleep) Some date...

Jeff: zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Ethel: Hrmph!

10 minutes later...

Ethel to SBM: (immediately upon witnessing a close up of the deaf-mute Chinese girl flashing her coochie) THIS IS STUPID!

40 minutes later, during loud club scene

Jeff: (waking up and whispering to me) I'm not following this.

Me: (shooting Jeff a dirty look)

Ethel: Harumph.  (not whispering to SBM) I bet she's going to die.

Jeff: zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

20 minutes later

Jeff: (again waking up long enough to lean over and whisper in my ear) I am not impressed.

Jeff: (nods off again) zzzzzzzzzzzzzz...

Me: (to self) You wouldn't think that if you had seen that coochie shot.

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Reader Comments (4)

Damn that Sawyer! That should be me. Minus the pistol whips and rib kicks and bunny rabbit pace makers and . . .
November 9, 2006 | Unregistered CommenterAlan
Is Rachel aware of this little Evangeline Lilly fixation you have going?
November 9, 2006 | Unregistered Commentertortoiseshelly
Yes, we watch it together. She likes Sawyer. Maybe Rachel and I should give them a call and pretend like it's the 70s. TMI
November 9, 2006 | Unregistered Commenteralan
classy...
November 9, 2006 | Unregistered Commentertortoiseshelly

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