The importance of context...

Snippets of my various conversations today, taken out of context:

6:30 a.m.
He didn't say dressed in black, he said draped in flags.

Right.  Like that makes any sense.  Who wants a gang of Evil Knieval's showing up a funeral?

7:03 a.m.
He always says, "Hey Listen."  Every time.  That's when I know the day is going to suck.

What do you mean?

As in "Hey listen, I need you to go to Gaaaaaaaal-vuhhhh-stonnnnnn."

Hysterical laughter ensues. 

9:42 a.m.
So she calls back and says, "I just wanted to make sure you got it." 

Yeah, so?

She hand-delivered them to me!  Hand-delivered. To me.

11:17 a.m.
Do you mind me asking why you require a death certificate for this?

Person on the other end of the telephone: We just like to have it.  To look at it. To make notes.

(imagining crazy lady on the other end of the phone just staring at the death certificate all day. Paying homage.  Writing an ode to the death certificate.)

1:40 p.m.
(whispering while sneaking up behind me in a dark office other than my own, where I happen to be grabbing a file.) Uh, oh. Is there a little mouse in here?

(loudly) What?

(clears throat) Aaah, yeah. Do you know when so and so will be back?