Weight Watchers, Part Deux...

Due to gorging myself on Pasta Roni Shells and Cheddar for the past year and laying comatose on my couch every night after work time management issues which precluded a daily workout, I have gained some weight. Yesterday morning, after trying to wedge my fat ass into my jeans and collapsing into a unsightly mess of tears and frustration on my purple carpet after taking stock of my current fitness regimen, I decided to join Weight Watchers.

So, like a cranky toddler good soldier, I slept in until the last minute, scrounged through the dirty clothes pile on my floor looking for my jogging pants (what a joke!) and a halfway unwrinkled shirt, and threw on some flip-flops awoke promptly at 6:30 this morning, took a shower, got dressed and drove to the nearest meeting.

After registering at the front counter, I plopped my fat butt on the front row like a death row prisoner awaiting his lethal injection cheerily sat down right in front of the instructor to show my eagerness at getting started with the work of reshaping my body. The meeting itself was not so bad, but because I had just joined, I had to stay with a couple of other people for orientation at the end. One girl was obviously high or otherwise malfunctioning so excited, this was her third trip to a Weight Watchers' meeting this week. She also said she liked staying for the orientation because she's a defective, brown-nosing kiss-up just for the extra oomph it gave her. She even applauded our instructor on her meeting energy, and gave an enthusiastic "AWESOME!" when the instructor mentioned they were changing computer systems. I couldn't believe I kept my composure and refrained from insane laughter and finger-pointing lucked into such an great support group.  I think our leader was thoroughly annoyed flattered by the girl.  This made me respect my group leader so much more.

I hung around after the end of orientation to pick up a WW magazine, during which the crazy, inbred yokel enthusiastic girl from my meeting and the group leader searched for her missing member card, which was apparently right where it was supposed to be misfiled.  After trying to look anywhere but at this girl's exposed buttcrack for a half-hour while waiting for the leader explain to the stupid whore enthusiastic girl that she only had to pay once a week (Sunday through Saturday), I followed that  time-wasting idiot to her car and popped her one happily left the meeting and drove home.

Can't wait for next week's weigh-in!

Comments

[Alan]

The word awesome is sooooo awesomely over and improperly used.

[tortoiseshelly]

Like, totally.