Won't you be my neighbor?

Scene:  Wednesday morning, 7:00 a.m. - Me, sitting in living room, drinking my coffee and watching the morning news.

(Jeff walks to the front door clad only in his boxer shorts, something clutched in his hand...)

Me:  (As Jeff starts to open the front door.) WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!  Hello, I'm sitting in my PJ's here in full view of the neighbors.

Jeff: (ignoring me and placing something on the floor in the hallway)

Me: (squinting from the couch to see what looks like a big bug)

Me: whispering, "What are you doing?"

Jeff and I: (watching bug in fascination as it crawls a couple of feet across the hall and walks bigger than life right under our neighbor's door)

Jeff: (closes door and turns to look at me with semi-panicked expression)  I found a cricket in the bathtub, and I didn't want to kill it.

Me: So you decided to send it over to wake up our new neighbors?* 

Jeff: Well, the Chinese say that crickets bring good luck.

* May well have just started international incident, as our new neighbors are French and Australian and will likely think this is some sort of hate crime, or, at the very least, the oddest welcome in history.