Ways to liven up the cycling experience...

• Try on new bike helmet and sunglasses while wearing only bra and panties. Attractive black and white checked grandma panties, no less.

• Run like hell when boyfriend lunges for camera upon witnessing such spectacle. Trip over laundry basket and land in crumpled heap on cheap, lavender bedroom carpet, just as blinding flash from camera goes off.

• Curse boyfriend while thinking to self that $40 spent on bike helmet not at all wasted.

• Finish getting dressed for bike outing.

• Begin lugging bike downstairs. Again curse boyfriend for letting out rip-roaring, gag-inducing fart that cannot escape because pinned by bike against stair railing about halfway down flight of stairs.  Attempt (in futility) to kick boyfriend down remaining stairs.

• Finally get bike downstairs and out front door.  Hop on bike and ride immediately into enormous, spiky bush when shoelace gets caught in pedal.

• Adjust helmet, ipod earbuds, and sunglasses and try again.

• At last, successfully and easily riding bike, glance back at boyfriend who is eating dust. Smirk just a little.

• Glancing at stop sign just ahead, pull to a slightly unsteady stop. Wonder briefly when forgot how to handle bike.  As dismounting bike, accidentally snag shorts on bicycle seat, thereby flashing granny panties to 7 cars sitting at the four-way stop on very busy street. Praise the heavens that disguised by glasses and helmet. (That $40 purchase has saved butt twice today.)

• Manage to ride uneventfully for next 35 minutes, except for occasional stopping to pull up socks that will not stay up.

• Decide hard part of cycling is not the cycling itself.  It's carrying that damned bike up and down the stairs. Especially up.

• Fall onto couch beneath ceiling fan. Decide to work from home.

Comments

[Casey]

Wish I could have been there. My stomach is sore from laughing.

[Donna]

Bonnie and I were just saying the other day we hope the cruise is not a repeat of the Salt Lake incident. REMEMBER 2 feet on the ship at the same time.

I will pray for you, especially after reading this entry.

Love you

Aunt Donna

[tortoiseshelly]

Pray harder! Currently, 2 of the 4 ports are burning to the ground.