tortoiseshelly

Don't fear the Reaper...

Ahh... Nothing says "lovin'" like having your boyfriend tell you he had a dream about you taking a header off a balcony and crashing your skull on the rocks.  Gives me the warm fuzzies just thinking of it.

The Devil is in the Details

Apparently, Jeff and I were dancing on someone's 3rd floor balcony, and the balcony had no railing. (And for a girl who can sprain her ankle on a dime, This. Is. Not. Good.)

What's more awe-inspiring is that I was dancing to showtunes and doing some chorus-line, can-can type number on the edge of the balcony.  Jeff kept warning me that I was going to fall, but did I listen?  NO WAY, JOSE!  Five seconds later, I fell and bashed my head on the rocks below. 

Jeff muttered to himself, "I can't look, I can't look..." (HELLO, I'M DYING OVA HEAYA??)  He finally forces himself to, and blood is pouring out the back of my head.  He tries to dial 911 on my phone, but it's not working (I swear, if I didn't have bad luck, I'd have no luck at all.)  He then uses his phone to dial it.   By this time, I'm up walking around with blood gushing out of my head and apparently trying to get my useless piece of crap phone to work. (I guess that's my "never say die" attitude shining through.)

Real Life

I laughed the dream off - heh-heh, ho-ho.  However, that was before I damn near fried myself with my blow-dryer this morning.  I was calmly drying my hair when it exploded like a gun shot right next to my ear and started smoking. 

Now I have to wonder if a) Jeff had a premonition, or b) he was subtly letting me know to kiss my ass goodbye. 

Stay tuned, dear readers... Stay tuned.

Pickin' up paw paws, put em in a basket...

I'm sure I've mentioned before that my Mother has a flare for inventing nicknames.  To wit:

My nicknames (let's stick with the top three, or this list may go on forever):

1. One-shell, Two-shell, Three-shell, Four-shell;
2. Mooshelita Pooshelita;
3. Tulipina

My sister's nicknames:

1. Chitchi or the so-much-shorter "Chitch"
2. Halita-Halita
3. Litta-Loo

My brother's nicknames:

1. Uckle Muckle
2. Yella Fella
3. Buster-Roozle

There are a few others that float around out there, some my Dad has for us, etc.  But today, we focus on Mom.  What may or may not be apparent is that none of these "nicknames" are actually shorter than our given names.  However, they are much more fun to say and make us all feel warm and fuzzy knowing my mom went through some apparent effort (or heavy drugs, I'm not quite sure which) in coming up with them. 

However, that truly is not the intent of this post.  It is but a mere example of how utterly cute and creative my mom is. 

She also took songs from our childhood and adapted them to our names.  This made me feel really special, until I noticed that she also does this with her dog. 

Okay, so are you ready for a puppy-fied version of a song?  Just for your info, my mom has a dog named "Cowboy" and these are but two of the songs she sings to that lovable hunk of fur while holding his paws up and dancing with them, complete with intentional mispronunciations.  Note that T-O-W here is pronounced like "cow":

He's an old tow-hand
from the Rio Grande
And his legs aren't bowed,
But his cheeks are tan!

He's a towboy who never saw a tow
Never roped a steer, cause he don't know how!
And he sure ain't fixin' to start it now...

Yippee-i-o-ki-ay-ki-ay!  Yippee-i-o-ki-ay.

She also does a wonderful rendition of: "Paw-Paw Patch"

Where, oh where, oh where is Tiny-Towboy?
Where, oh where, oh where is Tiny-Towboy ?
Where, oh where, of where is Tiny-Towboy?
Way down yonder in the paw-paw patch.

Picking up puppies; puttin' 'em in my pocket
Picking up puppies; puttin' 'em in my pocket
Picking up puppies; puttin' 'em in my pocket
Way down yonder in the paw-paw patch.

Now, I'm serious here, but I think this is sincerely one of the cutest, mushiest things my mom does.  I totally think she should write kids books - like toddler to elementary.  How much would that rock?  She can also sing really well, so she could even record the little sing-songs for kids (and dogs? You know, for that soothing car trip...)

Just a thought, Mom...

Happy Belated Birthday!

To my cousin, Casey.  I hope you celebrated marvelously!  Congrats also on becoming a baby-spawner for the 3rd time.  How about the name Carston?  That's not too close to one you already have, right?

Or perhaps Jethro or Sallie Jo would be better?  Flossy, even?

Note to all persons not in our family reading this - these are not what I would consider "actual" name suggestions.  Duh.  I'm not a total redneck.